Category Archives: social media

Black Fatherhood On Trial

In the court of public opinion, the verdict is crystal clear. The jury doesn’t take long to render a decision. There isn’t a need for the twelve (12) to be sequestered; no threat of a mistrial or the jury being hung. From a room adjacent to the proceedings, the bailiff escorts the jurors back to their seats as the crowd anxiously awaits the outcome. The court reporter is patient, yet precisely accurate with the diction being used. The judge has returned from his chambers and grows weary of the litigation before him. On trial yet again is the “Black” male. His crime: accused of being a “deadbeat dad”, an “absentee father”, merely a sperm donor. After enduring the kidnappings from his native lands; surviving the rigors of the middle passage during the Trans Atlantic Slave Trade; being stripped of his name, culture and dignity – forced into a lifetime of servitude; scratching and clawing to be considered equal, once more he stands before his peers to defend his honor. The plaintiffs: The “Black” female, the mainstream media, movies, television and record executives; all of who has contributed to his demise. How did we get here? Can the “Black” male ever be exonerated and forgiven for his transgressions? It’s our job as men to correct these acts and ensure the story is told correctly; show that the evidence is unyielding on our behalf. Prove that the images and data being relayed to the public are the exception, not the rule. We’ll proceed as follows:

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When people discuss fatherhood, they assume that African-American men aren’t part of the equation. The media presents figures that show an overwhelming number of men are absent from their children’s lives. For every James Evans from the television show “Good Times” you have Stevie J of “Love and Hip Hop Atlanta”; for every Cliff Huxtable of “Cosby Show” fame, you have Peter Gunz of “Love and Hip Hop New York”. The graphs and pie charts are nothing short of damning when reports, studies, statistics and other data are presented. The imagery contributes to the public’s perception that “we” would rather have a harem of women, father children by each of them, then return to a lifestyle of dysfunction, as opposed to taking care of our responsibilities and being a pillar in a family structure. The negative illustrations supersede the achievements of the men that play active roles in the children’s lives.

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There isn’t a need to put “Desperately Seeking Daddy” with a picture of the alleged father on the side of a milk carton. No need for the unfair generalizations that proclaim Black fathers as being shiftless, selfish and the ones who abandon their children. We’re here for our children just as much as any other race. What about the fathers who have been driven away by angry mothers? Or the family law system which does little to defend fathers’ bond for their children? When making their arguments to demonized the Black male, is divorce ever considered? What about the breakups of unmarried couples? It’s bigger than what can be explained in a thirty minute exposé; it’s economic, sociological, psychological, cultural and political. These explanations should be regarded when having this discussion.

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When seeing a father taking care of his children, it shouldn’t be considered an abnormality. Data published by the Center for Disease Control revealed that Black fathers spend more time in their children’s day-to-day lives than fathers from other racial groups. If a couple doesn’t get married, that shouldn’t be perceived as the man are absent or he doesn’t support his children financially. Just because he doesn’t marry the child’s mother doesn’t mean he loves his children any less. Commitment to the bearer of the child isn’t necessary to take care of your responsibilities. A father is their daughter’s first love, their son’s first hero. What isn’t shown is the encouragement given during the birthing process; the diapers being changed or late night feedings; tip-toeing in the dark to leave money as the Tooth Fairy or the glow of pride a father has from being present during their child’s milestone accomplishments. There won’t be much fanfare or advertisements honoring the father’s role in a child’s development. Social media posts will run rampant on this day with quotes such as “Happy Father’s Day to the real men who take care of their kids”; or, “Happy Father’s Day to all the single mothers playing the role of both mom and dad.” Both of these quotes are shots at the Black males’ supposed inability to care for their seeds. Even Hallmark, with their Mahogany Brand specifically designed for people of color, has capitalized on the situation. Starting back in 2011, they created designs celebrating Black mothers supposedly carrying the distinction with their “To Mom on Father’s Day” selection. And because of this, the Black male has been placed in a position to defend himself from the atrocities of the world’s view of him as it relates to fatherhood.

The bailiff addresses the courtroom by stating, “All Rise!” And with palms sweating and a nervousness that can be felt in the pit of his stomach, the defendant anxiously awaits the jury’s verdict to be read. “We the people of the United States and society at large, find the Black father guilty of the charges brought against you for being absent from your children’s lives. Until further evidence is shown to reverse and dismiss this verdict, the conviction will remain. You are hereby sentenced to a lifetime of ridicule and shame. The media will continue to have the ability to exploit this phenomenon and will depict you as being an unfit, unwilling caregiver to your children. We will drive a wedge between you and children’s mother, have you tied up in child support hearings, suspend your driver’s license for nonpayment or any arrears owed and have you disgruntled. You have the remainder of your lifetime to appeal this verdict and change society’s perception of you. I encourage you do so, but feel at this point, with the media at our beckoning, we can keep perpetuating this charade until the end of time!” The judge then strikes his gavel to conclude the proceedings. Being a father is no different than acquiring and maintaining a job. There will be pitfalls, unforeseen obstacles, trials and tribulations. However, the joy that comes from succeeding and raising your child to be a productive individual is an achievement sought after by all men who father children. Fathers I implore you, remain involved in your kids’ lives despite the circumstances. Be sure to nurture, love and groom them. Being a dad is most times a thankless job that often goes unappreciated; and that comes with the territory. More positive stories of Black fathers involvement can render any judge’s decision null and void, and in future hearings the court would have to deliver an outcome of Nolle Prosequi (Latin for unwilling to pursue; do not prosecute). Happy Father’s Day! “We Are The Change!”  I’m gone! (b)

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The War On Melanin

There’s a caption I saw on the internet that states, “If tomorrow, women woke up and decided they really liked their bodies, just think of how many industries would go out of business.”  For women of color, that statement should be magnified a thousand fold.  Throughout my lifetime I’ve seen Black women chase the dream of being cover girls, the ghosts of being centerfolds, when in essence, they’ve always had the beauty to stand side by side and toe to toe with any of the women on the planet.  While most women embrace the skin they’re in, others feel that their melanin is a curse.  It hinders them from securing gainful employment; prohibts them from being cast in roles if their pursuits are the arts and fashion; binds them to a time period where the darker skinned women were regulated to physical labors during the time of slavery, while the fairer skinned had the comforts of being in the home as maids and servants, or paraded around as trophies.  So as your comsumption of entertainment grows, you hardly notice the lack of dark skinned women in music videos, being cast in television shows or receiving movie roles.  There are some exceptions, however you’re oblivious to that fact because you’ve be programmed to believe that beauty is determined by complexion first; everything else is secondary.  Don’t attempt to resist, it’s inbedded in your subconscious.

What is Melanin?

As a child you may have heard phrases like “Black don’t crack” or “The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.”  All of these quotes can be derived from the fact that people of color produce a large amount of melanin.  Melanin is the primary determinant of skin color, hair and iris of the eye.  Cells called melanocytes, located just below the outer surface of the skin, produce melanin, which is in higher levels in people with darker skin. Melanin’s primary function is to protect the skin from sun damage, but it carries additional benefits that are enjoyed mostly by those with darker skin; Africans, natives of India, and native Australians.  The production of melanin allows the individual to maintain their youthful appearance as they “age gracefully”, reduces the risk of skin cancer and the development of wrinkles.  For the purposes of this read, I won’t touch on its spiritual aspects.

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Skin Bleaching

So when the topic of skin bleaching is broached, the first person usually mentioned is Michael Jackson.  He is thought of as its pioneer; coming to the attention of the masses as his pigmentation lightened from the albums “Off The Wall” and “Thriller” to his appearance on the album cover “Bad” and thereafter.  However, in a February 1993 interview with Oprah Winfrey and later confirmed by the autopsy report after his death in 2009, the “gloved one” suffered from vitiligo, a condition that causes depigmentation of parts of the skin. It occurs when melanocytes die or are unable to function.  So what are the excuses for celebrities like Nikki Minaj, Lil Kim or former all-star baseball Sammy Sosa, as there’s no evidence that they suffer from skin aliments?

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The Perception

In an interview recently, rapper Kendrick Lamar told radio personality Miss Info that he fired the original female model chosen for his “Poetic Justice” video and chose another “darker-toned” girl from the pool of extras to play lead. The TDE (Top Dawg Entertainment) representative told Miss Info: “We had another girl for the lead but I had an idea where I just wanted a little bit of a darker tone [girl] in the video. It’s almost like a color blind industry where there’s only one type of appeal to the camera. ….. I always kept in the back of my mind like ‘you don’t ever see this tone of a woman in videos.  No disrespect, I love all women, period. But at the same time, I still feel like it needs that balance.”  In addition, according to the Compton spitter there’s a preference for lighter-skinned models in the entertainment industry and Lamar wants to change that.  Now scroll down your mental memory deck and think about all of the music videos you’ve watched that featured light-skinned African American females, women of Hispanic decent or Caucasians as the lead or featured on the cover of magazines as opposed to those that have a darker hue.  Karyn Washington, the once inspiring now deceased founder of the site For Brown Girls and #DarkSkinRedLip project, looked to empower women of an assortment of shades by offering them a forum to express their displeasure, boost self-esteem and triumph over any short-comings.  Her initiative, #DarkSkinRedLip project, came into existence after rapper A$AP Rocky said that women of darker complexions should not wear red lipstick.

We live in an era where the mass media determines what beauty is, and the customers are forced to follow suit.  From the covers of People, Style and Vogue magazine, commercials ads that unbeknownst to the viewer depict cleanliness with the removal of “dirt and grime” to have perfect skin with a bar of soap or bath gel, to television shows like “Project Runway”, vanity is always clear and present, and for people of color, especially those of whom provide amusement to the public, it’s an never ending race to remain relevant and use the resources available to remain in the public eye.  For those of you that watched Spike Lee’s movie Jungle Fever, do you remember the round table discussion that the women had after it was discovered that Wesley Snipes’ character “Flipper” cheated on his wife his White (Italian) mistress.  The sentiments in that discussion are the anger and pain felt by many women in the Black community. A constant battle between shades of brown and sometimes those of an entirely different skin tone.   So not only do Black women have to contend with the battle of keeping their natural hair, perming or putting weave it, they also have to remain diligent within themselves to remain self-confident with their own exquisiteness.  All the while, corporations bank on the fact that you’ll go to their stores, purchase their products, alter your appearance in an attempt to become something more than you already are.  I often ask women why do they feel the need to purchase eye lashes, weave, skin lightening cream, get clip on toe/finger nails, etc?  The response I receive is “For me!  I wanna look nice.”  I then counter by saying, “If you were truly happy with yourself, there shouldn’t be a need to enhance what your deity has already given you.  People should accept you the way you are.  You don’t put rims or paint an exotic car.  The value alone should tell you its worth.”  I’m usually met with silence after that.  “We Are The Change!”  I’m gone! (b)

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The Burden Of Greatness

On the onset of each day we awaken with a new sense of purpose.  All of the events which have transpired in the previous twenty-four (24) hours no longer quantify the person we aspire to be in the present.  Despite our classifications, be it financial, race, gender or religion, we gather ourselves, lace-up our bootstraps, and walk out the door with the intensive purpose of creating a more comfortable today and a better tomorrow.  Sacrifices are made, relationships are sometimes severed to reach the pinnacle of success.  And upon reaching that summit, we believe that we’ll be absolved of all of our problems and the problems that come from achieving satisfaction will be remedied.  However, this is only the beginning.  Regardless of your accomplishments, the applause you seek will never come in the form of a standing ovation; the people will clap with you, not for you.  They chastise you saying you can’t swim because you walk on water; crucify you for wanting to soar to new heights as opposed to the cumbersome tasks of walking hand to hand, side by side with them as they drag their burdens like an overweight suitcase.  Damn… Unpack!

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In an age of twenty-four (24) hour news cycles, people’s successes and failures are chronicled instantly on the internet and social media for all to view.  This is no more evident than the scrutiny that fell at the pristine feet of LeBron James Thursday night during Game One of the NBA Finals.  Ironically, a person who slogan throughout the season has been “Strive for Greatness” couldn’t summon the energy necessary to “will” himself to the finish of his last game played.  Throughout the course of the fourth (4th) quarter, at the time was a “hotly” contested game, James began experiencing cramps which eventually lead to his removal from the game and could have possibly contributed to the outcome of a 110-95 defeat of the Miami Heat by the San Antonio Spurs.  The pain must’ve have been overwhelming; the grimaces on his face spoke volumes of an individual’s body who had failed him at the most inopportune time.  And as he was carried off the floor to the bench by staffers and teammates, the cyberverse burst into outrage.  There were talks that LeBron wasn’t tough enough; he’s soft.  During the television broadcast ESPN analyst Mark Jackson uttered the following, “If you’re LeBron James, the great ones find a way to tell their body, ‘Not now … I’ll talk to you tomorrow.’”  There were individuals trying to create an internet sensation, dubbing it #lebroning, where photos were being taken of people mimicking James being carried off the court.  Then of course, there were the pundits, lead by ESPN’s First Take host Skip Bayless leading the chorus as to why the self-proclaimed “King” wasn’t properly hydrated like the other competitors who also endured the almost 90 degree heat felt in the arena.  The comparison of other greats poured in; Kobe Bryant (Los Angeles Lakers) making two (2) free throws after tearing his Achilles tendon in 2013, then walking off the court on his own power; Michael Jordan had the “Flu Game” in 1997 where imagines of “23” collapsing in Scottie Pippen’s arms being lead off the court in a Chicago Bulls’ victory over the Utah Jazz.  Asked about the criticism, James simply stated “I’m the easiest target in sports.”

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And such is the burden of being dubbed “King” and the best player in the NBA; ruler of all you survey in the basketball universe. You have people you couldn’t walk two (2) flights of stairs without becoming winded, sitting at home behind their keyboards or on their telecommunications devices eating hot dogs, loaded baked potatoes, drinking beer questioning an individual’s toughness.  Knowing damn well if they were to receive that same criticism by their peers or superiors for poor job performance, they too would be equally upset and want to file a grievance with their union representative. Or better yet, what if their significant other chastised them for underperformance in the bedroom and an inability to satisfy their sexual desires, boy the rage, alcohol induced tirades and arguments would skyrocket; if that already isn’t the case. We place Michael Jordan on the Mount Olympus of sports icons; convincing ourselves that he would’ve played under the same circumstances as LeBron, and with the current rules, would’ve dropped 60 on Kawhi Leonard.  And as the years pass, we make Jordan an indestructible force; comparable to the Juggernaut from the X-Men movie and comic book series. However, we forget that in March of 1995, upon making his return to the Bulls from spending time away playing minor league baseball for the Birmingham Barons, in his first game back, Jordan scored 19 points against the Indiana Pacers, but shot just 7-of-28 from the floor in a 103-96 overtime loss for the Bulls in Indianapolis.  Sports Illustrated’s Phil Taylor wrote at the time: “But on Sunday, before the first quarter had ended, the 32-year-old Jordan was bending over and tugging on his shorts, the universal symbol for fatigue, and in the overtime he developed leg cramps. Asked if he was disappointed that he didn’t get a chance to dunk, Jordan replied, “I was cramping so bad I didn’t really want to.”  Ah… so MJ too was merely human; subject to all the ills of ordinary men.  We expect greatness from those we have adulation for.  If Dave Chappelle isn’t funny during his comedy routine, Brittany Spears is discovered to have lip-synced during her music performance or LeBron James fails to deliver in the “clutch”, our dissatisfaction leads us to voice our displeasure by “Boos” or a keyboard tongue lashing on any social media outlet that’ll assist us in championing our cause; and when the venom dissipates, and the event is no longer a story, we aren’t held responsible for our comments; whether the sentiments were justified or in error.  We go back about our lives waiting on the next success story for which we can find just cause to tear it down from its pedestal. So for James, the backlash that comes from being a child prodigy, the savior of a city (Cleveland) that hasn’t won a championship in any of the four (4) major sports since 1964 (Cleveland Browns – NFL Championship), and the remnants of “The Decision”, for which he has yet to return to the level of White fans which he had prior to joining the Heat is all encompassing.  He’s currently the most polarizing athlete in sports.  So as Game 2 approaches and the storylines from the previous game are rehashed, be mindful that you too have a story you’re living on a daily basis; and you’re equally liable for any unfortunate outcomes that take place on your journey.  Because we all know, any missteps taken will be compared to past spouses, employees, parents and situations; and how does that make you feel? “We Are The Change!” I’m gone! (b)

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D-Fense (clap, clap) D-Fense (clap, clap)

“What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
No not just for some but for everyone

Lord we don’t need another mountain
There are mountains and hillsides
Enough to climb
There are oceans and rivers
Enough to cross. enough to last
‘Till the end of time” – Diana Ross “What The World Needs Now Is Love”

There aren’t too many occasions where you can turn to social media and not find a post that does not quote something with positive affirmation. Whether the message focuses on remaining diligent in the quest for greatness or striving to enlighten others, there are those amongst us who try to give off a positive aura of caring for their fellow man and spreading the wealth of abundance. When the message is delivered by your favorite celebrity, pastor, or star icon, the words are met like a scripture; liked, quoted, commented and retweeted thousands of times without a second thought. It’s as if we need the assurance of others to allow us have a particular opinion as to how to feel when certain subjects are broached. Once they’ve approved, then surely we can follow suit because a person of that elevated status wouldn’t lead me astray.

“Did you know that your feelings show
You thought your love was locked up inside
But when your senses start to overload
Love is something you should never hide

You’ve got to believe in love
It’s a feeling that’s next to none
Can’t stop until we are one
With the power of love

Tell everyone to try
I promise you’ll reach the sky
One thing that we can’t deny
Is the power of love” – Luther Vandross “Power Of Love / Love Power”

 
When the subject of “love” is brought up, it’s as if the conversation is taboo. People appear openly afraid to express those emotions in the general public. Around friends, men would rather appear before a firing squad as opposed to declaring that phrase in the presence of their peers.  However, at funerals, those same men will use and exceed their two (2) minute time frame championing their fallen comrade and stating that “we” should voice these feelings because “life’s too short” and “tomorrow isn’t promised.” During courtship, because the relationship is new, the euphoria of expressing one’s feelings reach new heights. We need that affirmation from each other to determine if the bond is real and felt mutually. However, once the expectations are met and the feelings satisfied, we become complacent and all the acts that had us feeling that way no longer apply. The love remains but those feelings of ecstasy fade. Perhaps that’s the reason why so many people stray in their relationships, as they continue to chase the initial high of being happy in those moments.  People must understand that love ebbs and flows; it’s never the same. Love isn’t singular to an individual, it’s the passion and devotion to “all” things. Not just an affinity for a person, but for the animals, the trees, the universe at large. That’s what love is; not Romeo & Juliet but the one that’s described in the scripture of your chosen religion.

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Hypothetically speaking, what if all the religions were brought to together and had one message. The words of the Bible & Quran; the messages delivered by Jesus,  Buddha, Muhammad & Confucius were all brought together for one specific reason. To share the power of the thing we defend ourselves against. Think of the feeling you have after a Sunday morning of worship. The message is delivered by the pastor/minister and the word that is heard by ear resonates through your soul. Upon your exit, your spirit is renewed. But after the pixie dust wears off, similar to the complacency in a relationship, we defend ourselves from expressing those feelings until called upon unless when there’s a dire situation. Any sense of vulnerability reveals a chink in the armor. We crave the feeling, yearn for the warmth it provides, yet shun from it at times; hide from its embrace and run for shelter for fear that it’ll continue to hurt us; time & time again as with incidents past.

“Are you trying to find a beginning.
Or something just to hold on to.
Always know that love will find a way.

Is it hard this life you’re living.
Does the world seem so unkind.
Don’t you worry love will find a way.

Some say we’ve lost, our way.
Some say the world has gone astray.
But if you know where you’re going.
There’s nothing you can’t do.
’cause problems will come.
And they will leave you.
The world will try to deceive you.
But the truth will always be in your soul.” – Lionel Richie “Love Will Find A Way”

 
Corinthians 13:4-8 states the following: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs… Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves… Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.”  Once we understand the concept surrounding love’s essence. We will enjoy its embrace and realize the fears of expressing it is propaganda played in our mind. Stop placing your feelings on a leash and let them roam free to enjoy life’s pleasures.  And if someone can’t or won’t accept you for the person you are after being sincere and genuine, it’s an indictment of them not you. Namaste!  “We Are The Change!” I’m gone! (b)

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A Streetcar Named Desire – A Lifetime of Firsts

From the time we burst from our mother’s womb, gasping for air and seeking comfort, until the moment our souls leave the flesh of this physical realm, we will have the propensity to experience many firsts. Our first steps, words, kiss, and other monumental occasions are recorded by scribe or retained to memory in the annals of history as a reminder of those achievements. And in a world where historic first are applauded with adulation, some of the seemingly minor accomplishments are overlooked in what develops the persona of the individual you will become.

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Maya Angelou, born Marguerite Ann Johnson on April 4, 1928, would be become the next pioneer to blaze a trail of first steps which would endear her to her peers and make her highly regarded to the world at large. Her first autobiography, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings (1969), tells of her life up to the age of seventeen (17), and brought her international acclaim and recognition. With the publication of that manuscript, she became respected as a spokesperson of Black people and women, with her work being reflective as a shield of Black culture. Her accruement as a renaissance woman would allow her to travel the globe, and while living in Accra, Ghana in the early 1960s, she became close friends with Malcolm X. Upon her return to the United States in 1965, she helped him to build a new civil rights organization called the Organization of Afro-American Unity. The former Mr. Little would be assassinated soon after its formation, but her efforts in the Civil Rights movement did not stop there. In 1968, Martin Luther King, Jr. asked Ms. Angelou to organize a march, but that too would be disrupted by his assassination on her 40th birthday, April 4th.

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In a lifetime of firsts, Angelou would be the first Black woman to write a screenplay with the 1972 release of Georgia, Georgia, which was produced by a Swedish film company and filmed in Sweden. A lifetime of achievements and honors would follow and lay in her path. A supporting role in Alex Haley’s mini-series Roots (1977), being a writer and composer for Roberta Flack, to in 1993, reciting her poem “On the Pulse of Morning” at the inauguration of President Bill Clinton; the first poet to make an augural recitation since Robert Frost at John F. Kennedy’s inauguration in 1961. During her lifespan she had gone from front woman/business manager of prostitutes, being a prostitute herself, restaurant cook, calypso dancer and unheralded writer to an icon that mentored the likes of Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry.

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What’s most impressive about her story is that before graduating from high school, she worked as the first Black female streetcar conductor in San Francisco, California. This may have been an additional catalyst that fueled her desire work hard and enticed her hunger for more. Her mother, Vivian Baxter, encouraged her to pursue the position in the 1940s. In a “Super Soul Sunday” interview with Winfrey in May 2013, her mom told her that if she wanted her “dream job,” she would need to arrive earlier than the secretaries and work harder than anyone else.  Angelou advised that she wanted to be employed by the company desperately, stating: “I loved the uniforms. I saw women on the street cars with their little changer belts… And they had caps with bills on them and they had form-fitting jackets,” Angelou recalled. She would write about her streetcar experiences in the last of her autobiographies titled, Mom & Me & Mom. There’s a memorial to Maya Angelou at the San Francisco Railway Museum. Earlier this year, she received a lifetime-achievement award from the Washington, D.C. – based Conference of Minority Transportation Officials during a program celebrating “Women Who Move the Nation.” And much like the streetcars that run on the steel rails on the streets of San Francisco, there were no slots that held Angelou from overcoming the obstacles that lay in her path. There were no underground cables to hinder her ability to spread her infinite knowledge, wisdom and charity around the world. The electricity that flowed within her propelled her to the highest of heights after enduring the lows of disenfranchisement, disappointment, divorce and death. Let Dr. Angelou be a lesson that despite whatever you believe is obstructing you from the happiness, success and abundance you wish to attain, perseverance and being willing to take the first step is necessary to affect that change.  “We Are The Change!” I’m gone! (b)

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Leaps and bounds

If you own a telecommunication device and are one of the several million people that occasionally log onto many of the social media websites available to the public, then you’ve more than likely had the privilege of viewing one your “friends” addressing their “haters” or sending subliminal messages to their secret admirers stating one the following: “We spend money that we do not have, on things we do not need, to impress people who do not care” and “Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings & emotions…” One of my favorites is, “There comes a time when you have to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn’t jump puddles for you.” When you look at the quote on its surface, it speaks to the fact that as people, we tend to make sacrifices for those who wouldn’t forfeit their desires to satisfy our needs. You reread the quote several times over, replaying incidents in your mind where you felt unloved, underappreciated and/or casted aside after making concessions for others who outwardly careless about your feelings, wants or needs. Some can disregard those actions and feel like their assistance is a blessing to others. Commonly these sentiments lead to severing relationships, alienation and resentment. Even when the situation is addressed and seemingly resolved, the bond that was once shared is never the same. In your heart you know it’s over, but you cling to the wreckage of an affiliation ravaged by distain; your self-worth couldn’t withstand the waves battering against the haul of your soul.

I reflect often times on the madness that’s called friendship. How we expect loyalty from others, and demand that people pledge allegiance to an invisible oath drafted by morals that those same individuals don’t adhere to. Like you, irrational decision making was also my calling card. As an only child and through my formative years, clamoring for acceptance was a norm. I wouldn’t realize this character flaw until I too had to learn the hard way that a rock only skips no more than three times when tossed across a body of water before submerging until its eventual doom.

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“This is a gang; and I’m in it!” During my tenure in college, that was one of my favorite songs. The track was performed by Compton’s Most Wanted off the album “Music To Driveby”. The track blared through the subwoofers as I would often times travel from Tallahassee to Monticello, Florida to clear my head and spend time alone. I could relate to the song in so many facets, and it remains a staple in my iTouch. It expressed the camaraderie that a group a friends shared; getting into mischief, partying, and other foolery. I felt my group of friends, although not deemed the “coolest”, were the realist people one could ever be around. You could always be yourself and express your thoughts without repercussions. There was no “hate”, because although we all lead different lives, we were all equals despite our socioeconomic status. So when one of my friends was shot during a failed robbery attempt, there was no question in my mind what had to be done. After the initial shock, I called up an individual who was known to resolve such matters, and off we went into the Saturday night air looking for the assailants who committed such a heinous act. As we passed by possible locations where the alleged perpetrators could possibly be or reside, I began to feel the pit growing in my stomach as to what could take place as an encounter grew near. I had been here before, so the emptiness wasn’t necessarily fear. I had felt the pain of false devotion before; left in a club holding cell defending someone who never threw a punch in defense of themselves. Projectiles whizzing across landscapes and altercations at an assortment of locations all in an attempt to earn an unheralded badge of honor which held no value. And when I thought of the occasions that I was either the instigator or the defendant, there was only one that warranted my “friends” to rush to my aid. And as these thoughts penetrated the fiber of my every being, I could only think, would these same individuals be willing to throw away their careers, college degrees, families and lives if it were me? I could name two, maybe three, but not definitively all.   I won’t lie to you and say there was a Tre’ from Boyz N’ Da Hood moment where I told the driver of the vehicle to take me (us) back to where my car was located, but I came to the realization that everyone isn’t willing to do what you’d do for the sake of friendship, love and loyalty.

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And as the years have passed, the lesson increases with its importance. Throwing rocks at the “chain gang”, looking at a period of incarceration, possible death, financial hardship and loves lost, all as a result of going the extra the mile for those that wouldn’t travel two feet to accommodate you. It’s saddening in a sense that the appreciation and admiration you have for others isn’t often reciprocated. I would never tell anyone to stop being good natured and not help your fellow man (woman) in their time of need. However, be mindful that the generosity you display may not be countered in return. And in your reluctance to assist someone, if the person dependent on your kindness begins to become agitated because you’ve now had an epiphany, tell them, “Keep calm and don’t be mad when I pull a YOU on YOU!” “We Are The Change!” I’m gone! (b)

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Brain Washed – Reloaded; Still An Illusion

As I bask in the warmth of the afternoon sun; with blue skies filled with soft white decor suspended above the horizon stretched as far as the eye can see, this black man stands firmly entrenched in utter mental disarray. Shedding the skin of a past littered with lies, misinformation and propaganda, to the hope of returning to an indigenous state of simplicity and spirituality. The road less traveled they say is the most difficult. Radical thinking leaves you as an outcast. Being a part of the crowd is the norm; removing oneself from that crowd leads to ridicule and rejection. It’s safer that way; all the opinions match; a united front for those who dare question the status quo.

However, what if I told you that it wasn’t meant to be that way? That within yourself you possessed the ability to change your reality. Your mere thoughts and gestures held more power than the actions of others who took opposition. Your voice could make plants grow or whither. Your thoughts could heal your body in the physical realm and enhance your soul in the spiritual one. The foods you ate were genetically modified to change your DNA structure; chemtrails lined the skies to your detriment. Religion was a means of control and television a form of slavery. Corporations based their profits on your consumption, paid politicians to push their agenda and didn’t care about your well-being. A society where the NRA pushed for gun control during the era of the Black Panthers but now deems it unconstitutional in 2014. Where Black Leaders are silenced, jailed or killed for attempting to uplift their people. Where after over 400 years, the Willie Lynch syndrome continues to affect our culture and the exploitation of Black women on primetime telecasts is at a premium; that there are more prisons being built than educational facilities. The CIA introduced drugs to the neighborhoods of Southern California and the government bombed a community in Philadelphia. Pharmaceuticals companies have replaced street level drug dealers. Where the government has a machine to control the weather & create natural disasters (HAARP). And the endangered species are no longer housed in zoos or placed in wildlife preserves for their protection, but are hunted daily on city streets; nothing more than a newspaper or Internet article reflecting a life lost and a killer exonerated. That the version of history that we were taught in school was revised to favor the nation’s agenda while hiding its crimes. (Sigh)

If I told you all of this and more, would you believe me? Of course not! My name doesn’t carry the same cachet as an Amos Wilson; doesn’t resonate like a Cornell West, Dr. Umar Johnson or Tavis Smiley. But despite that, does it make it any less true; is the message any less real? Like having a megaphone and yelling “fire” into a crowded movie theater, some people won’t move until they feel the heat, are engulfed by the flames and suffocated by the smoke. And as humanity sits back comfortably, unsuspecting of the events taking place behind the scenes, the puppeteer strings the masses along like marionettes as we abide by their commands. The “Matrix” live & in effect. However, there will be no Neo or Morpheus to free the minds of the oppressed and enlighten souls.

“People don’t want to know the truth because it may force them to make changes that they’re uncomfortable with; changes that they aren’t willing to make. A comfort level has been established where a change in mindset won’t allow them to accept anything to alter their reality or ability to function. There’s no other truth than the one they’ve embraced. The truth destroys their desired reality, points out their shortcomings and look at themselves in a way they don’t want to acknowledge.” (#forbiddenknowledge)

“I sit alone in my four (4) cornered room staring at candles.” Not contemplating suicide, but trying to decide if passing along information to enrich the lives of so many is worth the banishment that comes with it. And that’s always the fight taking place within the soul of person tainted by the world around them…

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“Imagine being born into a dream: a mass illusion transformed over thousands of years by billions of people into what today you call reality.  The billions of people subdivided into territories they called countries, into belief systems they called religions and into groups they called races.

Countries subdivided into states, provinces and cities, which then subdivided into neighborhoods that subdivided into neighborhoods that subdivided into buildings or single-family homes.  Religions divided into conservatives and liberals sects, which then grew into more conservative and liberal branches.  Races divided themselves by all of the above, including color, tone, ethnic makeup and financial status.

Each group then teaches and defends that its way is the way and its truth is the truth, and each group creates its own reality out of what it believes.  Each group then tries to sell you on its current forms and laws, telling you that this is what is ‘right’.  Each teaches you that the closer you are to following its form, the happier, more successful and peaceful you will be.  And somewhere deep within, you know that it is your right to be happy and to be at peace.  So you buy into it, and regardless of how little sensed the illusion makes, you keep participating, for if you stop, you will be judged as an outcast, a troublemaker, a bum.

You are taught that if you stop participating in the group’s way of life, your hopes for happiness, success and peace will also end.  The group tells you that if you go against the norm, you will not find happiness, peace or success.  So you buy into the illusion the group offers, believing that there is no other way.  You carefully weave and contour the illusion into one you can live with for now.  But my friend, regardless of how you choose to weave, contour and experienced the illusion, it is still an illusion.” – James Blanchard Cisneros, “You Have Chosen to Remember: A Journey From Perception to Knowledge, Peace of Mind and Joy” “We Are The Change!”  I’m gone! (b)

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A Voyage Into Motherhood

For some, it occurred as a result of a long standing relationship; for others, a one night stand; still others, the result of what was thought to be love, which later was determined to be lust. The scenarios vary; whether through marriage, an encounter with a “first” or an infracted, “No!” mistaken as a license to continue; reproducing in a constituted world for no rhyme or reason.

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The signals the body transmits are sometimes hard to interpret. The suspicion lingers in the subconscious, but the heart needs confirmation. A missed “period” and the apprehension begins. There’s the morning after pill that’s taken to subside the curiosities of a lust filled one night stand and then there’s the over the counter test which doesn’t satisfy the curiosity until taken multiple times. The results seem surreal. Some are elated, while others feel a sense of despair. It’s then time to set an appointment for one of many prenatal visits with a medical caregiver. Then the facts become all too real. Missing a menstrual cycle, frequent urination, swollen breasts, “morning sickness” and food cravings. The time quickly passes; the body contorts for the growth of a new human; a life within a life; one now feeding & nurturing two. The worries become enormous or celebratory depending on the situation. (How do we survive? Can my income manage this? I’m not ready? What colors to paint the room? Do we have enough insurance? What will my parents say? Will the child be embraced? I’m excited! I can’t wait!”) All of which clutter the mind. And as the day approaches, registries are established and showers are scheduled.

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The moment finally arrives and the delivery location is sometimes a non-factor. The breathing techniques which were rehearsed and practiced are no longer applicable; calmness dissipates. The screams and bellows echo throughout the room. And with the cry of a small voice unfamiliar to the listener, life begins anew. All the worries and concerns disappear the moment you glance into each other’s eyes. A new person to love; a new life to mold. To all of the women celebrating this day all over the globe, I bid you good tidings and wish you all the best as you shape the individuals who may someday lead our future. Happy Mother’s Day! You are greatly appreciated. “We Are The Change!”  I’m gone! (b)

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Decisions, Decisions, Decisions!!!

So during the Christmas holidays, BET (Black Entertainment Television) annually televises Alex Haley’s Roots. The highly recognized drama gives an account of his (our) ancestors’ existence in Africa and their subsequent life in the United States as slaves. It’s a generational account from a somewhat historical standpoint. Lost in the story is how people of color began studying Christianity. Prior to being brought to the Americas, people of color worshipped their own deities. It wasn’t until they were stripped of the language, culture & names, were they forced to adapt to their new lifestyle. One of these adaptions was being introduced to religion. Religion was a method to placate slaves and used as a means of control. In some instances, when the “labor force” was taught the ability to read, the first publication they were introduced to was the Holy Bible. Hence forth, that sometimes overlooked aspect of the television series, as Kunta Kinte AKA Toby would pray to Allah as opposed to Jesus Christ, would now prove to be the linchpin that holds a race in place.

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How did you become a republican or democrat? Was it of your own doing by learning the democratic process in Social Studies or American Government? How did you choose your religion; Baptist, Methodist, Islamic faith, whatever? Was it your idea to begin attending church or Sunday school at a young age? I pose these questions to show that many of the beliefs we have, whether political, spiritual or following a sports franchise, aren’t consciously made by us using rationale. They’re made for us generationally. Long after slaves ships arrived on the banks of the Southeast Atlantic region, from great, great, great grandmothers to the present, whatever religion they believed, you also believed. Whatever political party they were aligned with, you had to register and do the same. An example of this would be that people of color use to be republicans until the mid to late 60’s. It could have been a result of Lyndon B. Johnson signing Civil Rights litigation; or Richard Nixon’s implementation of “Southern Strategy”, from that point forward, an entire race became Democrats despite the issues or the intent of the candidates in the election process; interesting to say the least.

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The point of this is at birth we’re all born atheist. We have no concept of religion, racial disparities, political affiliations, anything until it’s taught. All of the results thereafter are learned behaviors. Some people can step outside the box and use all the information available to make conscious decisions regarding their faith, marital views and interactions. Those people go against the norms of society and use rational thinking and logic. So if they chose to practice a particular faith based on their research of the other religions, I respect that. If some choose to align themselves with one political party or be an independent based on their research, I’m cool with that. However, I can’t accept someone being a part of something or feeling a certain type of way based on the fact that, “It has to be! That’s the way I was taught or that’s all I know”. Just like with people, if you don’t know their entire story, how can you judge them based on appearance, speech or hearsay? Who religion is the best? Is it Christianity because we leave in America? Is it Islam because their residency in the Middle East? Is it Hindu or Buddhism because they reside in another part of the world? Wars have been fought over religion and political views since their advent! Make decisions based on your own thought process as opposed to those passed on by others. It’s ok not to swim with the school of fish; be your own person. “We Are The Change!”  I’m gone! (b)

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Schleprock – Are We Accountable For Our Misfortune?

One thing can be said about the United States, there’s never a dull moment on the home front.  For the last several weeks the country has been drenched in a tropical monsoon of racial issues.  In late April, the U.S. Supreme Court upheld a Michigan law that bans affirmative action in public programs such as university admission.  Shortly thereafter, Cliven Bundy, a cattle rancher who made headlines for being in a twenty (20) year legal dispute between he and the United States Bureau of Land Management (BLM) over unpaid grazing fees, wondered aloud about “the Negro” and whether people of color would be “better off as slaves, picking cotton.”  And now the coup de grace, Donald Sterling, current owner of the Los Clippers, recorded comments about his distaste for African Americans, which lead to his band from the National Basketball Association (NBA) and the eventual forfeiture of his franchise.  And with all of this, the court of public opinion has been holding trial on various media outlets, spinning stories to receive a reaction.  A mob has formed, pitchforks and torches, ready to pounce on anyone who permeates a view dissimilar to theirs.  Amongst the rubble and ashes of this destruction, the oppressed have submitted articles and blogs for public consumption questioning the wants and desires of a race that has been tormented for almost 500 years.  An article posted on kaperville.com, “Are Black Americans Stupid?”  Another written on gawker.com titled, “Black People Are Cowards”.  And the rebuttal to that article posted on forharriet.com, “Who’s the Coward?: The Flawed Logic of Faux Revolutionaries. Your Lectures Will Not Save Us.”  All present compelling arguments as to the state of Black cultures and the direction for which we should be traveling for the future.  After reading, listening, absorbing and examining the landscape, my questions are, are we to blame for our current state of being?  Are we desensitized to racism because we practice it so much amongst ourselves?  I ask these questions in all seriousness because there appears to be no solutions on the horizon.

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So I’m sure you’re wondering, with an article so serious, why is the article named after the Flintstones’ television character Schleprock.  Like most things, people like to blame their misfortune, ill-will and bad luck on a series of incidents beyond their control.  If you remember the character’s catchphrase, “Wowzy, wowzy, woo, woo!”  A sort of woe is me; look at my plight and situation and feel sorry for me.  The confusing thing about the aforementioned articles is there’s no middle ground; you’re either righteous or revolutionary.  There’s no in between.  So for every slave that fought the overseer for their freedom; flesh torn from bone by the lashes of the whip for being disobedient, there’s another unwilling to challenge his master as he approaches their cabin nightly to enjoy the spoils of his spouse. That’s called survival.  For every person that marched, were sprayed with water hoses, jailed and beaten; there’s more that for the safety of their families and to earn an income chose to endure the ridicule and shame for the sake maintaining the family structure.  For every pro there’s its con.  Emmett Till, Trayvon Martin, Jordan Davis, Rubin “Hurricane” Carter, and countless others; how do we preserve their legacies when we have such distain for ourselves.

So the Willie Lynch Letter, whether truth or a fabrication, remains in effect.  Amongst people of color, when people hold you back and don’t want to see you progress beyond them, it’s called the “Crab in the bucket” syndrome.  I prefer to reference the Five Monkey Experiment when dealing in these instances.  So if you’re unfamiliar with it, and I know it’ll take far too much of your time to research it, here it is:

A group of scientists placed 5 monkeys in a cage and in the middle, a ladder with bananas on the top.  Every time a monkey went up the ladder, the scientists soaked the rest of the monkeys with cold water.  After a while, every time a monkey went up the ladder, the others beat up the one on the ladder.  After some time, no monkey dared to go up the ladder regardless of the temptation.  Scientists then decided to substitute one of the monkeys. The 1st thing this new monkey did was to go up the ladder. Immediately the other monkeys beat him up.  After several beatings, the new member learned not to climb the ladder even though he never knew why.  A 2nd monkey was substituted and the same occurred. The 1st monkey participated on the beating for the 2nd monkey. A 3rd monkey was changed and the same was repeated (beating). The 4th was substituted and the beating was repeated and finally the 5th monkey was replaced.  What was left was a group of 5 monkeys that even though never received a cold shower, continued to beat up any monkey who attempted to climb the ladder. If it was possible to ask the monkeys why they would beat up all those who attempted to go up the ladder … I bet you the answer would be … “I don’t know — that’s how things are done around here” Does it sound familiar?

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Now taking that illustration into account, isn’t it relatable to our situation in 2014?  Don’t run to your keyboard, sprint to your telecommunication device and start pulling out the thesaurus just yet!  Hear me out!  I won’t go into the television, music, imagery, etc., because that’s an exercise futility.  In recent weeks we celebrated Jackie Robinson breaking the color barrier in Major League Baseball (MLB). If you saw the movie, read the books or seen the documentaries, think of all he had to endure to accomplish that feat to open the door for others to follow. However, as of this date, there are only 67 players of color (African-Americans) on big league rosters. Who’re we going to blame for lack of participation when the opportunities are there for us to play the game now without hindrance?  As mentioned in one of the articles, lectures can’t save us.  There’s no need to go over a checklist of our situation, because we’ve each been living it daily for generations. Blacks have been surpassed as the lead minority and are falling further behind in all categories regarding education, wealth and sustainable income.  So when do we start saving ourselves?  When do we start using the resources available us to better our lives?  When do we stop looking at ourselves as the enemy and come together on one accord for a common goal?  Why don’t rich Black churches build charter schools in the Black community; or hire men or women? The Black Church is a billion dollar industry, so how can there be so many churches yet so little employment and an abysmal education system in the Black community? When do we stop being dependent on a system that isn’t designed for us to succeed?  Why aren’t we encouraging more individuals to attend empowerment seminars and workshops lead by their peers?  Why aren’t we supporting Black owned businesses?  “Currently, a dollar circulates in Asian communities for a month, in Jewish communities approximately 20 days and White communities 17 days. How long does a dollar circulate in the Black community? 6 hours!!! African American buying power is at 1.1 Trillion; and yet only 2 cents of every dollar an African American spends in this country goes to Black owned businesses.”  Regardless of your stance; passive righteousness or radical revolutionary, we must start holding each other accountable and stop blaming our ills on others.  We’re outraged that a known bigot in Sterling comes out expressing his contempt for people of color, yet we don’t bat an eye when two (2) young girls in Chicago get into a violent altercation over a young man on social media.

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In an act of protest, Tommie Smith & John Carlos during their medal ceremony at the 1968 Summer Olympics in Olympic Stadium in Mexico City, upon hearing The Star-Spangled Banner, each raised a black-gloved fist and kept them raised until the anthem had finished. The event is regarded as one of the most overtly political statements in the history of the modern games.  The iconic picture still stirs memories of America’s troubled past.  Initially, all Black American athletes were asked to join together and boycott the games.  The suggestion came from a young sociologist friend by the name of Harry Edwards who hoped it would bring attention to the fact that America’s civil rights movement had not gone far enough to eliminate the injustices Black Americans were facing. “Edwards’ group, the Olympic Project for Human Rights (OPHR), gained support from several world-class athletes and civil rights leaders but the all-out boycott never materialized.  Smith later told the media that he raised his right, black-glove-covered fist in the air to represent black power in America while Carlos’ left, black-covered fist represented unity in black America. Together they formed an arch of unity and power. The black scarf around Smith’s neck stood for Black pride and their black socks (and no shoes) represented Black poverty in racist America.  While the protest seems relatively tame by today’s standards, the actions of Smith and Carlos were met with such outrage that they were suspended from their national team and banned from the Olympic Village, the athletes’ home during the games.”  Could a protest by the Los Angeles Clippers players, boycotting Game 4 of the NBA playoffs on Sunday, April 27, 2014 would’ve been equivalent and held in iconic status if it had taken place?  Perhaps!  Were people satisfied with the display of solidarity by those same players wearing their jerseys inside out not to display the name of the franchise (also done by the Miami Heat)? Not entirely!  Will there ever be total agreement as to what the Black agenda is and what’s the best direction for the future?  No!  However, no matter your stance (righteousness or revolutionary), it’s always, always about the principle!  Even if you’re an army of one, stand up for what’s right.  “We Are The Change!”  I’m gone! (b)

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