The caption immediately caught my attention as I scrolled my News Feed on Facebook while in a local saloon. It didn’t help that my mind was in a fog after speaking with executives about the format and direction of my internet radio show. So as I gathered my thoughts in preparation to answer the question posed, I wanted to appear objective and illustrate a conscious point view. At the point of my response, there were upwards of twenty (20) comments posted; I wanted to avoid them all so they wouldn’t have any bearing on my reply. “If you died and came back to this world, would you still want to be Black”, the poster asked. He followed by indicating, “Serious question. Think about it before you answer.” Without hesitation, the words began flowing from my telecommunication device. With my first response, I straddled the fence; trying to maintain a level of sensibility about the question by inadvertently letting it be known that I’d come back as I am, Black. My comment was met with a retort about the state of consciousness amongst people of color and the system put in place to instill that behavior. My second (2nd) response was what I thought was a “beast” to enhance my argument. I argued that overcoming the struggle is what makes the triumph so gratifying. When you prove your detractors wrong; your will overcomes their efforts to maintain their level of superiority, that’s what make things worthwhile. I provided a brief history about our ancestors’ accomplishments; from the Egyptians to the Moors, and how we once were the people to emulate. The response thereafter should’ve just been, “Fuck that shit! You tripping!” The responder basically said that the White race is the “Gatekeepers” of everything we love and hold dear. He brought up the Willie Lynch Letter and how its premise has continued to enslave Black people for over three (300) hundred years. And as I read his text, the emotions within had me on edge; questioning myself and it was uncomfortable. It was similar to seeing my Blackness in a vegetative state on a hospital death bed. I knew the correct answer was to pull the plug. I was trying to justify keeping it alive, but was all too aware of the consequences which lay ahead.

 
I got a part in a movie in 1986. I called it the “N****r They Couldn’t Kill.” [The character] He raped a white woman; they tried to electrocute him but it didn’t work and he became a cult hero. Then they tried to hang him. There were some Jewish people in the audition room who said, “It is funny.” And I said to them “Yeah, it like you bring some Jewish people into a room and they think it is a shower but it is gas. And they said ‘Right!’ And I said ‘Right!’ That ain’t funny!” So to me it was not funny to put a rope around my MFing neck and I made a point. I called Sidney (Portier) and told him “Man they are offering me $600,000 to play the ‘N****r They Couldn’t Kill.’” And he told me, “I’m not going to tell you what to do. But I will tell you this, the first, two, three or four films you do in this business will dictate how you are perceived.

 
That was sage advice! And they’re wise words for everyone. When you’re just starting out, you’re eager to get your foot in the door and you think you ought to say yes to anything that’s thrown your way. But you should never leave your better judgment at the door. If something doesn’t feel right, or you find it outright offensive to you or to others, it’s probably best to wait until you find something more in line with your brand of work. – Denzel Washington (Times Talk 2012)

Compromises

 
So on Thursday my show aired as per usual, and of course I thought I did a pretty good job. I’m growing more comfortable being the only participate sharing the “news of the day” and enjoy relaying that information to the masses. Now by all means, the show wasn’t flawless. Similar to a gymnast performing their floor exercise on the largest of stages; the tumbles, cartwheels and flips were not all crisp, but the entirety of the exhibition was executed as planned. The closing sequence punctuated the show and I felt good as I signed off the air. One of executive producers congratulated me on show and made suggestions as to how to enhance and place it on the platform with others in the industry. He questioned my desire and challenged me as to what lengths would I be willing to go through to make the show a success. It wasn’t an ultimatum, but it was a declaration as to what is to be expected; a push. The goal is to be hipper Tavis Smiley, Ronald Martin and Al Sharpton, all of whom broadcast news on a large scale; challenge and confront guest when necessary; be more entertaining to captivate the audience and drive up listenership. Whether the publicity is negative or positive, if you’re being discussed, you’re making progress and that’s a good thing. If they aren’t talking about you, you ain’t doing shit! We said our good-byes and I departed from the facility. Now mind you, I’m receptive to all of these ideas. This is what I signed up for because it’s my passion to relay information to the masses; especially that in which would be beneficial to your ongoing journey in life. But I couldn’t help but feel “some type of way”. It’s as if I was being asked to change myself to placate to an industry that isn’t enamored with the substance, they’re only interested in the glitz and glamour of the product; if the cake doesn’t taste good, fuck it, it looked good on the outside. And it wasn’t as if the execs were saying this, but I felt like I would have to exploit myself for ratings. The show is first and foremost a vessel to disseminate information; secondly in the course of reading stories, have fun and provide an objective opinion; lastly, when there are interviews, provide the guest a platform to get their message out to the masses. If during the course of an interview, I were to disagree with the guest, in no way was the plan to turn into Stephen A. Smith, Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly or Rush Limbaugh. I’m more laid back that way and of the mindset that everyone’s entitled to their opinion. I’m thinking to myself, do White companies have to go to such extremes to receive notoriety? Shit, being Black, you already have to work twice as hard just to be on the same level as your contemporaries, so now I have to be something that I’m not. Damn! So as I left the premises, I needed to clear my head and a nice adult beverage would definitely provide a means of escape.

Decision Time

Blasphemous would be the word I’d used if my decision were to return to be White after my death. I questioned the concept for days leading up to this blog. As I weighed my decision I looked no further than the show’s Facebook Fan Page and my personal page. I reviewed and remembered all the posts that have been shared since its advent and the lack of viewership or comments to them; the blogs that are disseminated two (2) per week on a weekly basis; information given out on Friday (Free Yo’ Mind Friday). I thought to myself, are people unwilling to be receptive to new information; is it the messenger (me); or do people simply don’t care about what’s going on around them? I went into Mr. Peabody’s Way Back Machine and thought about all of the atrocities that Black people have faced throughout the course of time. The travels through the Middle Passage during the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade; having flesh ripped from the bone by the strike of the whip during slavery; homes, land and wealth stripped away during Reconstruction; Jim Crow; lynching running rampant throughout the south; the quest for reparations; the sting of the water as law enforcement and fire rescue raised the PSI on the water hose; the planned assassinations or incarceration of all the great Black leaders; the emasculation of the Black male and the exploitation of the Black female on television broadcasts; and the lists goes on and on. And during each event, whether it was the destruction of Black Wall Street (Tulsa, Oklahoma); the Rosewood massacre (Rosewood, Florida); the 1985 bombing of the city of Philadelphia (over concern of an organization called MOVE); or when mothers were separated from their children and spouses during slavery, I’m sure they all cried out and thought to themselves, “Why me? Why us?” They prayed to their deities with the hopes of revenge, exoneration or retribution, and in many cases, that day has never come. I pondered, “Who the hell would want some of that? I can see why people would choose being White. They’ve never had to face those issues or concerns.” But the question should then be, “Why not us?” Everybody wants to be with the winners! Those of whom that weld the power and with the stroke of a pen, can change lives. The movers and shakers is what people gravitate too. Being White is the logical answer, but it doesn’t make it right. Think about the joy you feel when the underdog overcomes all of the obstacles in movies, relationships, business and in sports; think about your own accounts of achieving something when there was doubt. We exalt in the achievements and it pleasures the heart. However, the playing field is entirely different when race is involved. If the opposite were to occur, that changes the balance of power; the sleep would awaken and become aware of what’s truly theirs. Nobody liked the Chicago Bulls when Michael Jordan was playing with Granville Waiters, Sam Vincent and Orlando Woolridge. People’s choices are based upon who’s in control, who’s winning, who’s perceived to be on top. It wasn’t until “23” started winning that his cult following grew and reached mythical proportions. To me, the choice is clear. I’ll endure whatever’s necessary to get the message out. My decision isn’t based on “being Black is all I know” it’s based on what I know; there’s a huge difference. When information is being suppressed from you that doesn’t allow you to awaken your spirituality and consciousness, then the alternative is to seek it out. I’ll continue to do that and share it with the hopes that people will enjoy the substance as opposed to the flair. The reason I have a blog and a radio show is to share all of this and more with you. It’s never about the popularity or the money; all of that are bonuses that come from a brand receiving exposure. I’ll never compromise my morals and values for the sake of attention. Shit I hate taking pictures anyway and enjoy playing the back. The format for the show, blogs and Fan Page will remain status quo because I believe that with information, changes can and will occur. The fuck I look like pretending to be holier than thou, acting like I’m being chauffeured in a Maybach, sipping from a chalice and enjoying the spoils of not being true to myself. I close with “We Are The Change” because I truly mean that statement. The great scribes Run DMC eloquently stated it well, “I’m proud to be Black y’all; and that’s a fact y’all!” I’m not unplugging shit! I’m keeping my Blackness alive! “We Are The Change!” I’m gone! (b)

 
Special shout out to: Al Deleveaux and Frank FAMU Rattler

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