The warmth of a smile can brighten any room upon the entry of a person who radiates with the energy of a star.  However, a smile can also hide the pain of a soul tormented by interal demons that plague their psyche.  We live in a world where our actions are monitored whether willingly or unbeknownst to the person being assessed.  Our state of consciousness is determined by images telecast for our supposed viewing enjoyment; words and musical notes blaring in varying volumes emitted from a speaker.  From the innocence of adolescence to our development as adults, we all deal with moments of insecurity and inadequacy.  On April 8, 2014, Karyn Washington, founder of the site For Brown Girls and #DarkSkinRedLip project, passed away amidst reports that she committed suicide.  A mere twenty-two (22) years of age, the inspiring young lady looked to empower women of an assortment of shades by offering them a forum to express their displeasure, boost self-esteem and triumph over any short-comings.  Her initiative, #DarkSkinRedLip project, came into existence after rapper A$AP Rocky said that women of darker complexions should not wear red lipstick.  In an interview with Madamenoire.com, Washington discussed the creation of her initiatives in the following statement:

“When the blog was initially created, my cousin and I were dealing with self-esteem issues relating to our complexion and we would vent to each other.  Through talking it out and building each other up, we felt better but also didn’t like the fact that we were even having these feelings to begin with. We also realized that other girls may be going through the same thing and wanted to use Tumblr as a means to vent, encourage others and overcome. Since then, I have gained a greater passion for the cause and helping others.” 

The irony is, in her attempts to empower others, like many people, Washington was reportedly dealing with depression; attempting to cope with the loss of her mother.  As people, we tend to mask our emotions in an effort to conceal feelings that have a tendency to be sometime overwhelming.  There are many forms of depression; symptoms dependent upon the circumstances of the individual.  Failed relationships, financial difficulties, the death of a loved one or issues with self-worth, all become engulfed in a tidal wave of emotions contributing to the thoughts of emptiness and despair.  Whatever the symptoms, depression is different from normal sadness in that it immerses your day-to-day life, interfering with your ability to work, study, eat, sleep, and have fun. The signs aren’t always visible.  Some people describe depression as “living in a black hole” or having a feeling of impending doom. However, some depressed people don’t feel sad at all—they may feel lifeless, empty, and apathetic, or men in particular may even feel angry, aggressive, and restless.  A perfect example of this is the United States penal system.  The United States makes up 4% of the world’s population, but is responsible for 25% of its incarceration; thereby having the highest incarceration rate in the world.  Keep in mind that convicted felons are ineligible for welfare, student loans, public housing, food stamps, and are often socially disconnected from community and family support structures.  So in addition to having high recidivism rates, convicted felons also have a high rate of homelessness and suicide.  Isn’t that information alone enough to make you depressed?  So how do you think a person in that position feels? And just like with going to the doctor for an annual physical, many people of color pass on seeking help and counseling because of the worry of public opinion, ridicule or shame.

Karyn Washington inspired many women to believe in themselves and encouraged all who followed to be accepting of their appearance and other personal attributes given to them at birth.  Behind that wide, beautiful smile, no one truly knows what horrors she was dealing with in her mind.  Like many advocates for change, Ms. Washington’s efforts will not soon be forgotten.  And as the condolences pour in from colleagues and followers alike, the question remains, are you willing to share your soul with someone in an effort to seek assistance with what’s ailing you, or do you continue to suffer alone; confiding in no one to help you overcome the anguish you feel?  If you suffer from the symptoms of depression, please seek help.  There are places available which are a mere phone call away.  Rest in peace Karyn Washington.  (b)